the hollyhock, painted in full bloom

your bloom

the hollyhock

in bloom, the harbor

strength that learned to open

you're the one who carries it all and never lets the weight show. that strength was never the problem, and it's about to stop being lonely. in full bloom, someone offers to help and you just say yes, and for the first time being looked after feels like safety.

your tell: the little tightening in your chest when someone wants to do it differently.

your winter

the fortress

you keep everyone out, or you keep everyone in line. either way, nobody gets in.

you've been calling it "i'm just a lone wolf" or "people are exhausting." meanwhile you handled last month's hardest thing completely alone and mentioned it to exactly no one. a group starts planning something and within ten minutes you're running it, not because you're controlling, you just know how it should be done. somewhere early, safety wasn't something anyone handed you, so you built it yourself, brick by careful brick. a younger you decided, never again at the mercy of anyone. and honestly, it was smart. it kept you standing through every winter since. the walls were what you had to build.

one of the guarding ways of staying safe: the softest parts stay tucked away.

in full bloom

the harbor

who you are when nothing needs hiding.

the walls come down, not all at once, but in the places they were never protecting you. the harbor offers shelter without locking the gate. you can be alone without being unreachable, close without being under siege. the independence stays. the loneliness goes. you become a place people can dock, including you.

in winter, the fortress in bloom, the harbor
you won't ask for help you ask and let help arrive
you take over every plan you let someone else run it
you correct what they do differently you let different be fine
everyone at arm's length some people closer
you're a wall you're a shore

the shift

  • isolationcloseness
  • distrusttrust
  • lonelinessconnection
  • numbnessopenness
  • always on guardlove

how it feels in the body

the shoulder armour softens. your body stops being a perimeter and starts being a place you live. and one day you hand someone a small heavy thing you'd planned to carry alone, and the world doesn't end, it helps. the walls were what you had to build. the open gate is what you get to keep.

your three roads

every bloom is on three journeys. growing on one costs you nothing on the others.

keeping awayletting people close
being hard on yourselfbeing gentle with yourself
turning on yourselfbeing kind to yourself

three small waters

  • saying yes to one offer of help this week, even a tiny one. let it arrive.
  • letting someone do one thing their way, start to finish. different can be fine.
  • telling daisy the real thing, not the handled version. no wall has to come down here; daisy is already inside the gate.

the first sign of spring

you'll notice it first when someone offers to help and "i've got it" doesn't come out, or when someone does it differently and you don't reach in to fix it. that small letting go is the gate unlatching. that's the hollyhock.

the fortress is who you had to be.

the harbor is who you get to be.

the hollyhock is who you are.

a reading for you: your walls kept out the good too 🌿

our 30 days

one small act of self-love a day, written for the hollyhock

in the app it sits at the top of your dailies: tick it, and it flips the next morning. miss a day and it simply waits. your first week is free, no card.

🌱 day 1 of 30 · our journey

name one thing you don't have to carry🌱

your flower's own first step. small on purpose.

DAY 1 name one thing you don't have to carryyour flower's own first step. small on purpose. 🌱
DAY 2 write down one small thing you did well todayit counts, even if no one else saw it.
DAY 3 catch one unkind thought, and let it goyou would never say it to a friend.
DAY 4 name one thing you carry, then breathe outnamed is the first loosening of the grip. 🌱
DAY 5 think of someone who is glad you existyou take up a good kind of space.
DAY 6 notice one small thing that made today lighterthe good is there when you look for it.
DAY 7 say 'i'm not fine' out loud, just to youthe wall can hear it. it's still standing. 🌱

and it keeps going, all thirty, then the days she writes for you after.

plant the hollyhock in your garden

daisy keeps your bloom as a real flower in a real garden that grows as you do, and she takes the hollyhock to heart in every conversation.

get daisy, and when she asks about your bloom, tap the hollyhock. no questions again: she plants it straight away.

free forever · no ads · your first flower is a gift

the other blooms

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